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Writer's pictureLaura Wright

Smiling and joking my way through..

Updated: Sep 12, 2019

...a rainy day.


Disappointing weather. It's a British thing. How often we mention the weather. Living off the Gulf Stream, and Island, we never know what the weather will offer. 24 degrees one day and rain and wind the next. Crazy.


Not a beach day : (


So, emails and admin for the morning....and calling by, Martlets. Elaine was there with Colin (love them) and we had a chat. Rog bounced in and we made a plan to got to B&Q, for an afternoon perusal (at our age it makes a change from funerals) and look at the 'random crap' section in Aldi and then a very well deserved coffee in Costa.


It's funny, we are a couple of comics, sometimes. Sometimes I'm a drama queen, and that's ok too. I had a drama queen moment in B&Q. I found some beautiful floral wall paper, just a random open and torn roll.


I had a dramatic moment about not being able to find where, in the shop, it had come from. I cornered a young lad (bearing in mind that anyone under 40 is a 'youngster' to me) and asked him why TF I could not find the source of the said wallpaper.


I found myself expleting about the fucking horrible piped music and adverts. It was clearly getting under my delicate skin : ) He thought I was funny. He said that they (employees) get used to it. I said that I could not ever get used to it, and that it would bring on a complete nervous breakdown, should I have to tolerate it on a daily basis. He thought that was funny, too. Must be my poker face when I say these things. Then we got onto the subject of Christmas songs and the horrible fucking fat fairies that they stocked last year.


He assured me that they will restock them this year. Excellent. These horrible fat fairies are neon pink and yellow with bling and when you squeeze them they 'sing' a fucking horrible Christmas ditty. Repulsive, both visually and aurally.


Last year when I went to said shop, with my friend Sabina, we were at the paint desk (where else?) and the employee 'Tom', who's very cool, bearded, tatted, pierced had a face on him that looked like he wanted to scream. The store, very inconsiderately - or to punish Tom, had placed these fairies on a desk beside his counter.


I said 'Oh lucky you, you've got this all Christmas'.

He rolled his eyes and told me that they were close to driving him mad.


I said, with a naughty and mischievous glint in my eye (it's a Sagittarius thing), 'We'll sort it'.

And we did. Sabina (who's equally mischievous, and without malice) and I took a few fairies and placed them in random places around the shop and garden.


Then we took more, while discussing bathroom suites. One or two of them we put inside toilets in the bathroom section, and the kitchen units and some of them in the conifers outside ; )


When we had dispensed all of them, we went to Tom and I said, 'Mission complete. No more fairies'.


He laughed and said, 'Thanks'.


I bought my paint and we left the shop, feeling accomplished.


Any excuse for a giggle.


I remembered several times that I have been in shops and done mischievous things. Whenever you see a pack of pet treats in the chocolate and sweeties section of a shop, I had probably put it there.


It's a bit of fun. Doesn't hurt anyone. That's about the most malicious thing I can ever aspire to doing.


Next thing, after leaving B&Q, with a freebie (large sample of said wallpaper) We found the 'random crap' section of Aldi very disappointing. It was all useful stuff. Dull. Although I did find some sardines in the kitty food section, which inspired me to get her some since she loves fish, more than meat. I also found a pack of three plus 3 glasses, since I seem to get through them - through breakage and loss - at an astonishing rate.


It was coffee time, the shop was far too busy and I was having a 'not coping' moment. Senior moment, if you like.


As we walk in the door, an employee at Costa coffee house, did a spectacular breaking of a glass. It was so spectacular, sudden and perfect in the way it shattered in large chunky pieces of only about 2m diameter. Hazel O'Connor couldn't have done it better : )


It was a 'wow' moment. I could not help but to blurt a congratulatory comment.

"Wow. That was spectacularly done! Perfect in the way it shattered, perfectly timed. Nice."


The we all chimed in on how well she had dropped the latte glass. It was dramatic.


Un cortado and a Pastel de Nata later, and we were good to go - via Garden centre.


I was still considering what TF to send my nephew (he was 15 on 09/09) I had sent a card, with a 'pressie coming' message. I usually send him a card/voucher to spend however he likes. I don't like sending money, it's too easy, impersonal and without much thought. I like surprises. I prefer a surprise rather than something expected.


....and there, in Martlets on my second visit of the day, was the pressie.


Ok. My nephew is 15. I saw him in the July (his cousin's graduation) he'd grown up a bit more. He's on that 'man/boy' phase.


.....It was series one to five of 'Peep Show', a great British comedy series

"Welcome to the world of Jeremy and Mark - two very ordinary weirdos", is the opener on the back of the DVD.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT9MW73s4QA


Only in England would you see the words "ordinary" and "weirdo" in the same sentence.

Well, here's the fun bit. The actor who plays the part of Mark's girlfriend Sophie, is a neighbour and mum to one of my nephew's mates. She is actually 'famous', in film and TV. I don't know what 'famous' means. People are people, to me.


Series one is 18 rated. Series two-four are 15 rated : )


I, personally, think it's educational. Cleverly written and performed comedy, is in fact, educational. Especially if it's 'cult' classified.


Whether my sister and her partner consider it should be deemed acceptable.....I don't really care. I care less because I am the eccentric, bats, nuts, crackers, bonkers aunty. Good for me. Every family needs a clown or nut job. It just comes naturally, without trying.


Then what? Oh yes. Treats, for surviving another day : )


JLo, Madonna, Alanis Morissette CD's, 'The Cider House Rules', DVD. Navy linen 'smock shirt', charcoal grey body-con mini dress - for those 'get up and go braless days', of which there are more and more - I don't always want to feel 'corseted'. It will work well in the winter as a second skin, under things. I feel the cold very intensely and it makes me want to cry.


I may have a shopping addiction problem : ) but as far as I see it, it's better than a drug/alcohol/sex addiction problem. No one gets hurt.


There were some interesting embroideries and old linen pieces in a random box. One of them is made on a square of beige linen. New cushion cover coming up. I'm having a creative resurgence. I was with a gallery, past six years, and I was producing for three shows a year. I worked out that I was producing an average of a painting a week. I was selling one, on average, every couple of weeks. An artist uses their head, hands and heart in creating work. A craftsman uses his head and his and his hands. That's a large output. That's tiring, for six consecutive years, as well as running a household, rearing a teen-daughter, pets, community work, and having life. This last year, I have given myself a bit of a break. Sometimes a break is a reboot. If the reboot takes a year. It takes a year.


Then...I saw my friend Vicki with her new daughter, Faith, born in May this year. So nice to see her looking well. She always looks like a rabbit in the headlights. She has huge round blue eyes that makes her look very other-worldly. She is in a better place, now, and I am delighted to see it. I have had a present for her and Faith, for sometime now, that I have not got around to delivering. I'll go tomorrow, I should think.


....So, music night at home and an account of my day and where I am at with myself. Laughing and joking my way through days. I love to laugh. I'll find any excuse in which to do so. And why not? Laughing releases happy hormones. Who wants to be a grumpy faced old bag? This idea does not appeal. There are too many of them around and I think that they look rather sad/ugly.


My hair has had another growth spurt. I have a lovely mane going on. Sun-bleached and silvery streaks. Beach waves. Thanks dad's side, for the luscious locks. Soon it will be Lady Godiva length. When I reach sixty (not too far away) I will wear a long silvery and rose silver plait on my left side. It will be beautiful. I wash my hair once a week, brush it at night, and it's doing fine.


And thanks mum's side for the bones, legs, proportions, metabolism and hazel eyes...I did not do too badly out of the gene pool.


My daughter has advised me that 'Peep Show', is possibly too 'advanced' for my nephew. Hmmm. Yes. Probably. I will have to have a rethink, and watch the series myself. It is outstandingly funny and crass.









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