...what are you doing to change up your shit?
Nothing? Niente? Nada? Rien?
Then, you should be ashamed of yourself for not embracing the Gemini energy of change, decision making, extremes, decisiveness..one way or another...
I have written a page on Gemini (Mercurial energy - dealing with communication and intellect, mainly) and how this energy affect us 'earthlings', baby : )
The planet Mercury is the planet which constantly retrogrades, because it is a fast moving energy that goes in and out of retrograde throughout the year.
Personally I am embracing the Gemini energy, s'easy for me as it sits in my natal chart opposing my * Sun sign of Sagittarius, second house (actually, Ophiuchus...as I have recently discovered) in my 8th house with Jupiter.
As a Sagittarius I have no filter, I say what I think and mean what I say. As Gemini, opposing Sagittarius, I am a gifted communicator...and have no problems with it. For good fortune, since they are placed in their opposing planets Jupiter with Gemini and Sagittarius with Mercury...it makes no odds. They support, in their opposition.
I am completely embracing the Gemini energy, both sun and moon are under this influence currently...
So what's up?
Well, yesterday was mainly about rain and crying all day...some crazy wave of grief caught me by surprise and I was inflicted with chronic neck pain...it was so severe, that I took a duvet day and a day of emotional off-loading. I am in emotional agony, when I cry......it hurts inside my soul and I perceive these moments as a kind of ritual. I have to hold myself in a hug, where my heart is reminding me of it's broken status.
Once cried out, I manage -somehow - to get on with the tasks in hand and recognise that I have had some releasing to do. Pain that needs an exit from my body. It's actually healthy to accept that tear shedding is a merely procedure to clear pain out. It's a bodily function to release whatever is hurting inside. I don not ever suppress it. I have got to a point where I actually embrace crying, because it is necessary to do....your body talks to you all the time.
By the afternoon - and I had gone back to my work in progress, still with ridiculous disabling pain in my neck, I decided to look at why I seem to be so emotionally disposed...Moon Pisces...a bit of a curse...feel too deeply, hurt easily and everything can feel abrasive....on the other hand...moon Pisces are the kindest hearts....and have a natural compassion for people. I can cry at other people's misfortune...literally...when I see suffering...I simply cry.
Part of a very good reason that I live alone, is due to my tendency to emotionally wreck...it's quite disconcerting..when I wreck, I fucking wreck, I don't do half-measures I either wreck or go silent. Creature of extremes...it's a bit scary.
Today...worked out very differently.
I knew that I had a 3:40 appointment and I also knew that my best friend would 'feel' me and check up on me. Which he did. I ended up organising my day around the Hygienist and decided to go with the flow.
So, keep up, what was I saying about Mercury...communication...Gemini?? I walked into my appointment, knowing that she is Venezuelan, and I went into Spanish...the whole appointment took place with us both communicating in Spanish...And guess what? ....I can still do it...converse and understand perfectly. Yes...pump the air, high five, twerk...whatever...
We discussed Madrid...the Museo de La Reina Sophia..el cuadro por Picasso se llama 'Geurnica', y como rico es la cuidad de Madrid, con muchas cosas a ver..y como mis dentes son...y como es necessario en Septiembre a visitar....otre vez
How happy was I? That my hygienist spoke to me in Spanish the entire appointment and that I understood....punch the air, high five...Oh yeah!!
Thank you God...I still have it, in there... my memory for Spanish...
Then, after feeling such confidence, shiny white gnashers and a conversation in Spanish..I went to Martlets (my second home) to parade my gorgeousness (hoping not to disturb any jealous bitches who can't handle it) in the latest summer stuff. I had masses of hilarious chat with el jeffe, Steph, and before I knew it I was laughing my...Blank..off.
I had decided to budget myself to a certain spendage p/w and realised that this was just bullshit self-promising. I decide to cut back to three items..per visit...which could entail up to three visits a day..9 items a day...then I thought, fuck it...I keep the shop going..and they lurve me and my good vibes...share and share a like...Marlets nurses rock...have my money...you should be on better pay. I've seen the way you work.
So then, it was time to go for a wee vino, a chat, a passing of the early evening in good company (other than my own : )
.....and I went home happier than I had been feeling earlier...
..and I reminded myself that sorrow and joy are just the same..just different sides of the coin...to cry is to be human...to laugh is to be human...and if I am extremely jovial and then extremely sad...it's quite normal...for me...
I have a theory that women can undergo up to 500 different emotions per day and men have one or two. Vive la diffrence...women are far more complex and many men are afraid of that...and that's ok too...cos the right man..won't give a hoot...how many emotions go down...they really won't judge you on it...though many men will do so (the fucktarded ones) Advice : find an emotional boyfriend....who gets you. Or really don't bother, because I get me and my friends and community.
I have recently opted for the second option...really don't bother... you don't need one...they just come into your life to fuck it up for you, then leave...and now I'm the bad guy. Ot that's how it tends to go.
I have a theory that life is sweet as a celibate and it is much cleaner, and healthier (in this day and age) and my latest self-healing quest is to use sexual crystal healing tools to purge and cleanse this part of me....because, like our teeth....none of us are truly pearly white (unless we are a newborn)
Think of it like this. Every person you sleep with, well, say that they have had twenty sexual partners...you are sleeping with them too. Ugh! You may as well have an orgy. Of course we live in a society where everything is, disposable and replaceable...this mentality trickles down into relationships. That one did not work, expired, broke...oh well, just get another one....nah, nah, nah,...wrong on all levels.
I hate to think about the amount of STD's going around...the expenditure of creative life force energy wasted..etc etc. the 'hoes that never close'. What if a particular potential sexual partner has been living in fucktardia land, where promiscuity is the 'norm'?....you'd notice, and you'd run the hell in the other direction...fast.
That's my point.... to avoid, is better than to partake.
Singledom and celibacy is healthy. Citalopram, best drug of the 21st century. This citalopram does even more good than it says on the tin. "Stops you feeling depressed as fuck", small print: "Kills your libido dead"and"Therefore keeps you safe and clean", not meaning to sound like a 1950's housewife's advert for home products...what a fucking lovely drug. What more could you want? Double whammy. Now you can live your life on a high as a non-sexual being, and basically be like a kid. Thank you to Denmark for making this drug...that works for me.
Besides all this. My work is going very well, thank you very much, and I can channel my sexual (creative) energy into that....best place for it. I know it. My work will always be there, painting, writing, making and creating (in which ever medium) is my compulsion......that will never change, no matter who else may come and go.
My local community know that I'm nuts, loudmouth, weird, annoying, stroppy, domineering, cosmic, spooky and gorgeous with it...and they *like me anyway that I show up...if I show up, when I show up....It's a hard life being so damn fabulous : ) and staying so fabulous : )
I'd be lying if I said that everyone likes me...I know that some don't...fine (not my fault if you are humourless with bad taste in people) Your opinion of me is not my business...nor will it ever be...cos I don't actually care. Middle finger, big smile : )
*maybe they don't, it's a facade, they just want my money : )
....this is real richness. This is wealth...just incase anyone out there thought it was all about money : )
*Zodiac : TropicalPlacidus Orb : 0📷Sun📷Sagittarius8°51' I ASC📷Scorpio18°21'📷Moon📷Pisces9°06' II📷Sagittarius18°30'📷Mercury📷Sagittarius13°24'R III📷Capricorn27°25'📷Venus📷Capricorn25°01' IV📷Pisces7°12'📷Mars📷Capricorn12°56' V📷Aries8°13'📷Jupiter📷Gemini28°29'R VI📷Taurus0°55'📷Saturn📷Pisces10°45' VII📷Taurus18°21'📷Uranus📷Virgo19°22' VIII📷Gemini18°30'📷Neptune📷Scorpio20°27' IX📷Cancer27°25'📷Pluto📷Virgo18°23' X MC📷Virgo7°12'📷Lilith📷Aquarius16°28' XI📷Libra8°13'📷Asc node📷Gemini4°34' XII📷Scorpio0°55'
Post Script:
Best line I heard on political radio discussion yesterday: "We live in a society where losing is not dealt with well. Politicians, too, have to accept that losing is a part of life...and that you can lose gracefully"
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