Yogi wisdom of the day....which got me into thinking. When you embrace your status, as single, you have to truly embrace it. Appreciate it, enjoy it, feel good in that position. You realise that being single and happy is a kindness to self. A life gift.
Kindness does not mean that you must always extend this gift to others, it also means that you must be kind to yourself first and foremost. Kindness is easily mistaken for weakness, and there are individuals who will take full advantage of this 'gift'.
Our society breeds a certain mentality that suggests "Single? What's wrong with her/him?", which is a negative reversal. Single? What's right about her/him? I will tell you. What makes a single person 'right', is that single is a choice. Single is a status that is strong. It says, "I don't need to be with someone to be happy. I don't need to be with someone to be stable. I don't need to be with someone, just to be with someone and 'fit in'. I don't compare myself to others who are not single. I do not run around looking for a relationship. I do not want to be codependent. In being single I can focus on my own needs and goals and desires. In being single I can appreciate myself, for everything I do. In being single I can make my own choices.
I can sleep soundly in a single bed, because there is only one of me. I am all that I need. I go to bed with myself and wake up with myself, for which I am grateful and lucky. I know a few people who would like to sleep with me and I prefer to sleep with myself - I know exactly who I am dealing with, who I am when I put my head down and what I'm not. Who I am when I rise, and what I am not. I honour my status because, for now (or perhaps for the rest of my life), it is where I need to be".
Each day that I wake up with me I love myself more than the day before, and I thank myself and everything in my life that I am thankful for. I recommend falling in love with yourself. It will be the most assured love affair that you will ever have. You cannot walk out on yourself.
I had a friend who, when I met her, she had been 15 years single and celibate, after a few relationships - one of them abusive. She had been through an awful lot in her life. I asked her why. Why Single? She was exceptionally pretty, petite, intelligent, strong, fun, loyal, well travelled, kind and beautiful with a smile that could light up a room. She said these words:
"I have never been happier, richer or more contented in being single". She had men crushing on her, presenting her with flowers, trying to date her and she showed no interest, but gratitude for their attentions. Everyday she reminded herself of her status and why she was happy about it.
I realised that she was perfectly happy and was done with being in relationships with men who had not ever appreciated her. She decided to appreciate herself, and she did this daily. She appreciated herself throughly and decided that she was the best person for the job. Self appreciation, kindness to self, self loyalty, self love = happy life.
Yes, you can extend your gift of kindness to others - with discernment, but it is necessary to start with you.
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