.....
...it is, and especially in Forest Row. I love that town, more and more.
I had a 'day trip' with my friend and we went to all of our favourite shops, food, wholefood, healthfood, vegan, vegetarian and Tablehurst farm, firstly. I bought a lot of day old sourdough breads (it's nicer and drier the next day) and goats cheese, hummus, a penguin card (for my daughter) she loves penguins, I'm an owl girl.
I was very interested in the new health and beauty products, which contain no toxins or plastics. I was quite impressed, although I already use natural products, it's good to see the latest new things. I tried some purple eyeliner. I looked like an owl. My eyes are quite large and roundish, with purple they looked huge and 'night owl'. In fact, green eyed or hazel eyed women look good with deep pink/purple eye makeup...it is the opposite of green/amber on the colour spectrum...so it makes them come alive.
I found some beautiful incense, called 'The Mother's India', by Ganesh. The profits, some of them, go to some of the poorest individuals living in India. I bought hemp tea (for calm and anti-anxiety), cumin seeds (weigh your own from jars) and a few other bits. Everyone is super lovely in these shops, because they are 'well' and 'earthy' and generally happy. It's just fine to be chatty and smiley, and they are too.
My friend took me to the Cyrnel Bakery and bought organic Florentines - packed with nuts and dried fruit...chocolate base. I bought a couple of Booja Booja chocolates, maintaining the belief that they are the 'only' chocolates...once you have tried Booja Booja...nothing compares. I insisted that he should try them, as he insisted that I should try the Florentines. We had them with a cup of hemp tea later. Hemp tea is new in, and it is delicious and subtle (wee colour : )
In each package of BB chocolates there is a little message. Mine was message number 24, 'What magnificent tapestries of stories, and stories about stories we weave' - very appropriate for me. Stories carry stories of stories and I have always liked them. I also write stories, because I enjoy writing, journalling and it gives me more of a sense of gratitude in my life because I see it unfolding before me. As it unfolds I realise how lucky and blessed that I am. I am grateful for the hard bits too, because they make you grow and learn. We grow when we learn, accept and forgive. We evolve when we accept out life, our past and our present.
I am really enjoying my new phone, it was a good plan. The camera is fabulous and, well, it's Apple's latest. I am an Apple girl, alway have been, always will be. Designed by Steve Jobs, a genuis creative - for the creative mind.
My brother phoned me at 10pm (I was in bed) as an exception, I took my phone to my bedside so that I could pick up the call. He called off his visit, he asked me if I had a Samsung charger. Why would I have a Samsung charger? I'm an Apple girl. Then, I realised that I know very few Samsung people. He went back to Bedford and I went back to bed : ), and in some ways I think this was better. This week has been busy and I am tired.
I noticed that the Ashdown Gallery has closed and is now a cafe.
I enjoyed myself a lot. Many people said 'Hi' to me and I felt very welcome.
I guess I become happier and happier as I age. I am more comfortable with myself now than I ever was. I embrace all that I am. My scars, my silvery streaked hair (that look like professional highlights - lucky me: ), my facial lines, frown lines, laugh lines, my toned and 'working' body, my incredible feet and legs that have walked, hiked, swam and run so may miles, my hands that have worked so very hard - and still do, my laugh lines, my big smile and laughing eyes, the way I giggle and screw up my nose, the way my hair falls into soft waves around my shoulders, my 'buff' arms that also work hard. My flat tummy, - that has carried a child full-term. My breasts that have fed that child. My skinny hips that have carried children, bags, shopping, boxes, and danced. My yoni - that is specifically my gender and sexuality. I see my physicality as an amazing piece of equipment, a vehicle that has got me through 54 years. That's incredible. I do not compare myself to others. We are unique, all of us. I intend to continue looking after it. I need to. I'm going to live forever : ) Well, in truth, not. I want to get more mileage. Lots more mileage.
Later on my friend came by with Barley and presented me with a pakchoi dish. Delicious. She has invited me to her choir in October.
I'm looking at the idea of going away with my 'boyfriend'. We have not yet taken a trip...I have had to go very slow (because of past hurt and healing), he has been so patient and understanding and he has a cheerful disposition, he is having a moan about his son (for not getting in touch regularly - I relate to the fledgling thing) His smile can make me smile. He likes to go on TA trips with the lads, and that's nice because he has his own thing (socially) going on, as I do.
So, deciding to take this brave step forwards, I think that we will go on a weekend break within UK. I do not fancy travelling out of UK just now, with all of the Thomas Cook chaos...and I just don't feel like going far on a first trip away.
I have to keep reminding myself that it will be fine, there will not be any arguments, rejection or drama. It will be lovely. Something to look forward to and not to be anxious about. I need to say 'yes' more to ideas and proposals. You never know where it might lead, or not.
I have a theory to never jump into a rebound, all you do is carry the unpacked baggage with you. It's not healthy because we all need time to heal. Rebound usually result in chaos and trauma. Learned that. Nor should you date a rebounder. Not a good recipe for success. Imagine two rebounders together, you may as well burn the house down (take the children though and do not let them watch) Unfortunately, life is not like this. Too many people get themselves into co-dependent situations and then find it hard to extricate themselves. If they have child/ren it is harder still and I am sorry for people who get stuck like this. It's damaging for everyone involved. The children are innocents and it's worse for them. They should be protected from any turmoil. To not protect your children is a selfish act of violence against them.
Anyway, me, I was not ever in this situation with my child. We had an amicable split (circumstantial geographically) and we maintained a great friendship. My daughter was lucky enough to have had two wise and loving parents who were certainly not going to allow her to see her parents in conflict. The sadness about his demise and death at just 47 years was more impactful because we would have all had good relations with each other. He died too young for my daughter to really get to know him. This brings me sadness. He was a good guy, an old hippy, a natural man. I framed a photo of him just yesterday, in a red sequinish frame, one that I had taken in the Ashdown Forest. He was handsome.
So, effectively, I must be feeling healed enough to just say 'yes' to the new and 'so long' to the old.
Saturn has been direct for the last 9 days, dishing a heavy dose of Karma and strictness. You cannot avoid the lessons of Karma that Saturn directs at you. The taskmaster and old-ager planet of our universe. You can't dodge Saturn and all of the current influences that this planet currently has in regard to the twelve/thirteen astrological signs. I won't go into the scientific/specific details, because it would take a good half hour, and I would have to recap on a few things that I recently learned. Also, to an astrologer - or pupil of astrology, it's very much 'sense' and to anyone who is not then it can sound like a whole new language.
Looking at your natal chart placement of Saturn, the house that it situates and the sign that is in conjunction with will tell you what are of you life will be challenged. My Saturn placement is in my fourth house (home and family and mother) with Pisces and my moon. That's a pretty hectic placement and it might allude to secrets within families, strong emotional ties and intuitiveness in family affairs. It also suggests challenges with a mother figure/maternal issues may be difficult. As well as, not forgetting, a certain healthy ebb and flow with offspring and not repeating cycles that are not conducive. Home and family life likely improve with age (Saturn being 'the bringer of old age') Challenging when young, much better in later life. Another cool reason to be 'older'.
October is looking like a good month, and Libra season is always easier than Virgo season (which can be very hermit-ing and focussed on practicalities) Libra (air) is much lighter and more fun. Love to love...spread the love...the Venusian energy.
Happy days : )
It's a beautiful life.
Post Script: Archie, Meghan and Harry with (Archbishop) Desmond Tutu. Adorable footage. Meghan, sooooooo beautiful.
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