Failure

What is it, really?

Failure is a word that has negative connotations.

Why? Because in our very spoiled Western world - where there is much abundance - we judge ourselves by other's standards. We judge and get judged by our own pre conceived ideas of what success is within the context of a very unrealistic ideal within the matrix of the 3D world.

If I have lost you already, by mentioning '3D world'? I will explain. The material world is only one dimension of our existence.

When we ascend our minds/souls to the possibility of other realms, other planes of existence we are not failing, we are actually winning. We are taking ourselves beyond the very base and material concepts of life, day to day.

When we get in touch with our higher-selves, when we meditate, sit with our spirit, we take ourselves out of the white noise, the earthy matters and enter another zone. In doing this we can hear G-d/spirit/our inner voice. It is when we can truly hear, ironically, in silence.

If we take a Buddhist approach, for example, we will consider more closely the idea of 'spiritual', of meditative states, of intuition, of messages that come to us when we can achieve stillness of our mind and spirit.

Since having learned yoga and how to meditate I have realised one thing for sure. That the concept of failure is deeply rooted in our societal structure on the 3D plane.

I remember starting a teacher training course in Worthing, a few years ago. I considered that, after completing my honours degree course in History of Art, that my next course of action should be to teach.

Everything seemed to get in my way. Firstly, it was the long commuting journey (9-5 every day) that tired me, then it was followed my severe migraine headaches (from the strip lights in classrooms), then I missed a step on my stairs one dark winter morning and injured my left foot so that I could not put any pressure on the ball of my foot.

This was followed by an accident where a car pulled out of a driveway and into me and my car was a right off. Then, by Christmas time of the first year, I was up to my eyes in stress and irritation.

I left the course at the end of the first term. For weeks and months I had considered that I was a failure, that I had let my family down, was incompetent and that I had 'failed'.

It took me a while to realise that I was literally and figuratively knocked off this particular path. I went back to my yoga and meditation in nature, I was guided to realise that this was not my path. I had not 'failed', only I had 'looked' as if I had failed within the concept of what society judges as a 'fail'.

I focussed on my painting again, and my family life with more enthusiasm. I found new opportunities with my work.

This is the thing. Failure is merely a concept and a concept is there for you to view it however you like. Failure is not a negative, not really. In your logical programmed mind it can scream at you 'failed' "failure" (ner ner ne ner ne : ) Like a little devil, telling you that you failed to rise to the challenge, that you failed to step up, failed someone, failed yourself. And it can go on, reverberating around your mind.

It gets terribly boring, to hear yourself (and others) judging you on something that turned out not to be a success. What is success? Another concept, in our spoiled Western world where everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame. An increasingly narcissistic society, that yearns for more and more. Better job, more money, better teeth, whiter teeth, bigger house, faster car, more acclaim and whatever else defines 'success'.

Concepts of what is 'failure', what is 'success', placed upon us by societies' ideals. Hang on a minute? What has that got to do with my own concept of success and of failure? Nothing.

Failure, to me, means: 'That was not your path, redirection required'.

Success, to me, means 'Inner peace', having faith in your journey and accepting what is not for you, with you, or about you.

I have not ever measured success, in a material way. I do not see failure as a negative. I learned early that success can be as tiny as new recipe that you have just created and it turned out delicious. Success can be, in extreme cases, being able to get through the day without crying. Success is being the good neighbour for a friend in need. It is hearing some good news about a project that you had been involved in. It is putting a smile back on the face of your friend, in tears, and hopeless.

Failure? That I did not get to my appointment in town because I decided that I could not cope with 'town' today. No. It was a success. I took the necessary steps to cancel and rebook for another time. That I experienced a relationship that 'failed'. No. It was a chance for something else. Failure that I did not finish a piece of work in time and left it unfinished. No. That piece was not to go out there. A failed friendship. No. It was meant to be.

When things do not work out as we have anticipated. What, then, did we anticipate? Something different. When the shoe does not fit, don't force it. It's not for you. It was not for your higher good, for the best version of you. It lead you down a dark alley, so that you could get out and back to the light.

If we redefine what these very loaded words mean, I believe that we can hope to make change, hope to enlighten ourselves and believe that through doing this we can live with more grace and gratitude for the simplest and most seemingly insignificant events and experiences.

Personally, I measure my personal success based on how much I smile and laugh, how many happy, joyful experiences I have with myself and others, and how much I can manifest what I need (as an individual, not a collective) into my life that is good for me and/or my personal growth and development.

I view my personal 'failures', (on how I have tried something, lost something or did not achieve what I had expected) as a compass for; 'that was not for you, go another way'.

To fail is to be human, to fail is to show you another way. From failure you can rebuild. Our culture rarely celebrates failure, as it should. Failure is the antithesis to success. Without one, there is no polarity - no other.

I look back at my failures with gratitude, a part of my own journey. And success? However I define it by my own gauge.