My lovely, gorgeous, clever baby phoned me yesterday. I always think, "What's up? Money's too tight to mention? Or you are in a schtuck?"
No news is good news, when it comes to fledglings.
I was happy to hear that her degree show is running in Brick Lane, London. She knows that I will not go, because I cannot navigate London alone. It is very trying for me. There's too much going on. It's too intense and I usually experience a lot of anxiety.
The last time that I travelled up there alone, I experienced a huge panic attack - just before approaching Trafalgar Square. No real surprises there. I had experienced a gang sexual assault in this particular place, when I was 19 years-old. I'm quite sure that I have written about it. Trauma in the extreme.
I remember stopping a couple, as I was approaching the square - transpired they were Italian guys. I told them, directly, that I was experiencing a panic attack and asked them if I could walk with them. They hailed me a cab, as they were heading in a different direction. One of them gave me spontaneous hug. It was very endearing.
Once they had made sure that I was seated and belted, they were very nice and waved me goodbye. I then told the cabbie, directly, that I was having a panic attack and then a little bit about how a panic attack works. He was hugely sympathetic and drove me to the quietest spot of my destination - which was the Mall Galleries, Carlton Terrace - to be exact.
I'm like my Border Collie. If I put her in a city environment, she freaks. Her brain goes into meltdown. B. C's notoriously don't enjoy a city environment. They classify as 'Pastoral dogs' and are best suited to country or farm environments. Like owner, like dog. Yep. I get that.
So...I know that my daughter does not expect me to attend her final degree show. She has assured me that she will take footage, so that I can see it. I am sad to miss it. I enjoy the end of year/grad shows. I like to observe my daughter's work objectively and see all of the other ideas that have come out of her year. I usually come to a conclusion (objectively, not biased) that her work is in the top three most interesting and outstanding. In her sixth form show, I was sure that her work was the most outstanding. In her foundation year show, I considered her project to have been most outstanding, highly original, beautiful and real - and definitely within the top three.
I was relieved to hear that she wanted some dollar for a hair cut and not that she was experiencing problems. I know her. Her hair is her pride, her mane (Leo) and she has always been very careful with it. She has not ever dyed it. It looks dyed. It is chestnut, and in the summer her red highlights come out and it has a dark red glow. I know her, she will want a top salon and a top stylist....if anyone f**** up her hair...it would be war!
I attribute her luscious mane to a) Good genes b) Good hair maintenance c) Leo (they have the best hair) d) The fact that - during my pregnancy - I ate copious amounts of fresh fish, ice-cream and jacket potatoes. (imagine that as a combined serving, eugh) I did not eat them as a combined meal. I was repulsed by coffee, and fried food of any description. The smell of coffee and fried food made me retch.
My daughter does not drink coffee, doesn't like fried foods, loves ice-cream and jacket potatoes. My daughter has great hair. Established.
She found a good salon and a very qualified stylist. Happy days. She sent me footage of her cut a. blunt cut. She looked stunning. Hair. Check.
This got me onto thinking. Polka dot navy blue and white, with a Spanish asymmetric frill (legs) and a French halter-neck (shoulders, not cleavage), big white daisy choker (it's a bit of fun), navy espadrilles (it will be a long day) panama hat (it will be a warm day) small straw South American style bag (ethnic touch and not pack too much - it's not an expedition : )
Sunnies (hazel and green eyes are the most light sensitive and I can get over-emotional behind them, as will be the case) Easy. In the meantime a pedicure (TLC for my over-used feet)
It's important to scrub up well for your kids, especially when they make comments, such as "Mum? Do you live live a complete cave woman?" - in reference to a time that I was eating fish and chips from the paper with my fingers (tastes better that way) and passing bits to my dog - whilst wearing some or other trashed pair of jeans, and a braless t-shirt, messy hair and bare feet. I laughed out loud. And said "Yeah, often". She didn't have an answer, just an eye roll and a faint sneer. I find it funny, because I see her point of view and she uses a knife and fork very properly. What a rebel : )
She forgets that I have been laughing at myself for years.
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