It occurred to me, just now, that it is one year since we cremated my mother.
Yesterday I found a large photo of her. I had hidden it, in the downstairs loo : {
I found another framed print. Constellations.
I hung them in a nice place. I cleaned them up, hung them.
Acceptance is finally accepting that people whom you have loved really have left your life, in the 3D world. I like to think that people never truly leave your life. I like to think that somehow their spirit is still with you, somewhere somehow. This is why I like to star gaze. Ancestral planes, ancestral spirits, stardust, other timelines.
This is why I do not do 'goodbyes'. Makes no sense. I like to say, hasta luego - see you later, -a bientot. Much more friendly and real. Be thankful for the memories, because that is all you are left with in the demise/ending/death of a loved one or of a relationship.
Maybe it takes a person a whole year to come to terms with it. Maybe that's just me, on my own timeline. Who knows?
That's kinda crazy. One year.
The pain never goes, but the acceptance grows. Everything is as it should be. Que Sera Sera.
The cycle of birth, life, death and transformation. People come, people go, people are born, people die, some people walk with you a while, people change, people change you and at the end of the day it is all energy.
The question we should all ask, at this point in time "Why's it so hard to love one another?"
If we are living in a state of fear, and basing on lives on fear based doctrines, we cannot love.
It's Friday.
I spent a lovely afternoon with my friend. We juiced, made falafels, went for a wander, met up with a few friends, cuddled, hugged, admired the garden and I felt extraordinarily lucky. Your friends get you through. You get by with a little help from your friends.
We went through the afternoon super slow. My right side aches from my third eye, through my head, down the right side of my neck, shoulder blades, down into the small of my back and to my hip. It flares up from time to time. It is likely a lymph gland issue. I am having treatment for it, osteopathy.
I picked blackberries with my dog and I did not know quite why I was feeling subdued.
I am looking forward to doing very little tomorrow. If all I achieve is breathing and a few quiet activities, that will be just fine.
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