...hermosa, empática, amable y confiada.
In a world where people want to steal your joy.
I noticed that a house guest, recently, rather overstayed and over stepped his welcome.
I discovered today that he had written on my 'Cow photo bomb' calendar on Thursday the fifteenth of August. He had scribed in pencil "Garon new home! Hailsham"
Also I noticed a Sharpie note on my kitchen tiles (where I make notes for myself) he had written "Sink done".
Really? So it seems that my attacker had plans on moving in on me through bullying and brutal force.
That's very sick. As I said before, one of the ways that I am coping with this is to realise that the individual was unwell.
Or, is there such a thing as being 'soul-less'?
Then, I got into thinking about people who attempt suicide. They are ill. Or are they just soul-less people who cannot appreciate their life?
What is behind suicidal thinking? I have contemplated and attempted suicide before. When the attempt failed (aged 26) I realised that in my worn out and broken mental and emotional state, that I was not meant to die - just yet.
The following breakdown that I experienced, aged 34, I went to hospital and for psychiatric help. That was when I discovered the reality of manic-depression. Learning about this lead me to understand how to cope with the disorder in a responsible way. I had my daughter, by then, and I had to learn to balance the disorder - for her health as well as mine.
I came to a conclusion that my attacker, whom I am to see in court next month, is perhaps in need of being institutionalised in a place with other male camaraderie.
My ex-neighbour had a a partner who was constantly going in and out of prison, having been a young 'offender' and then consecutively in his adult life.
I believe that he found the 'real world' too challenging and would offend in order to get a prison sentence because he felt almost 'comfortable' there.
Odd as it sounds, there is method in all madness.
My friend went to make a statement, at the Victim Support Office, today and I imagine that he gave a complete account from his view of how I have been in the aftermath of the attack.
I tend to have 'delayed shock'. My adrenalin 'fight/flight sends me into practical mode and this acts as a 'buffer' to the horror of the incident.
It is only in recent days, that I have unwound a lot and been able to process what happened and deal with the emotional, physical and mental trauma.
I will get there. I will be ok. I need to heal from it and let it be. There are lessons to be learned. Lessons are valuable.
Lessons? We are here to learn about emotions and limitations. Our souls know the rest.
Happiness is an inside job. To be your authentic self is happiness. This is love. This is a good life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE6v-gBMTRk
September 18 - Saturn comes out of retrograde
September 21 - Autumn Equinox
December 2 - Jupiter leaves Sagittarius, moving to Capricorn
Pleased. Saturn placement in your natal chart will be most effected in this area
In my case:
Saturn conjunct Moon and Pisces in the fourth house.
The Fourth House is also known as the House of Family and Home. ... This house also relates to your parents, your roots. It is a cardinal house, the second cardinal point on your natal chart, among astrology houses, with the Ascendant being the first house. The fourth house is ruled by the Moon and the sign of Cancer.
Have I had challenging family and home situations lately, throughout Saturn's retrograde? (and throughout my life?) Explains a lot.
I should Coco.
The First House defines you. It is a Cardinal house. Ruled by Mars and the sign of Aries (and partly Scorpio - ruled by both Pluto and Mars) Defined by the Ascendant
In my case Scorpio Ascendant conjunct Neptune 12.02 degrees
Sun Sagittarius 08.49 degrees
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEvKpkGPXU4
With many other conjunctions, sextiles, oppositions and squares relating to other planets and constellations (of course) There are 12 houses on the natal wheel/chart
Makes more and more sense
Astrology is magic. It's both a science and an art. Cool.
Venus is popping up in the night sky at around eight pm in late (BST) Summer, now. Especially beautiful tonight next to the pink sunset. Lovely : )
Comments